March 1, 2010

Help Wanted: Mother

As I am drawing near the end of my pregnancy I reflect on the most important job in the whole wide world.

Real Life Support for Moms
Help Wanted: Mother

Here’s a sampling of the job postings that would be needed to cover all women do for the children—and significant other adult—in your household.

NANNY: Patient, loving woman who requires limited sleep and adult interaction needed to care for child(ren) up to 24/7/365. Other duties include all those listed following this ad, as well as many not described herewith.

HOUSEKEEPER: Responsibilities include cleaning and tidying a family home several times daily. Must be available nights, weekends and overtime, and be willing to clean and tidy the same areas over and over and over again.

CHAUFFEUR: Driver needed to transport child(ren) to all activities beyond the domicile, including but not limited to school, sports, medical appointments, therapies, entertainment venues. Applicant must be skilled in defensive driving tactics and able to operate a vehicle safely regardless of the behavior of her passengers. Having extra-long arms is useful in this position, but not essential.

CHEF: Passable cooking and meal preparation skills needed for short-order establishment serving three full meals and filling dozens of beverage and snack orders per day, for both sit-down and To Go diners. The chef is also responsible for procuring and restocking meal supplies, serving the meals, all dish washing as well as the full cleaning of both the kitchen and multiple dining areas.

DOCTOR/NURSE: Health and first aid provider needed for pediatric and adult patients in a home-based environment. Responsibilities include making diagnosis, providing medical transportation, emergency care, administering treatments, medications and overall patient assistance, particularly as relates to bodily functions.

DENTAL HYGIENIST: Assistance needed in daily pediatric dental cleaning, teething-related pain management and occasional teeth-pulling.

TEACHER/COACH: Instructor wanted for child(ren) age newborn to adult for lessons related to academics, athletics and overall life skills. Position involves both one-on-one instruction and classes of mixed-age pupils.

PSYCHOLOGIST: Compassionate, wise and tolerant person needed to listen to the problems and concerns of young and aged household members.

WARDROBE MANAGER: Fashion- and bargain-savvy individual needed to acquire, alter, organize and maintain clothing and footwear for all members of a household, for all seasons.

DRESSER: Individual wanted to ensure that appropriate clothing is worn by all household members. Wrestling skills are useful, but can be developed.

LAUNDRESS: Help needed to clean and maintain various wardrobe collections.

CONCIERGE: Resourceful, problem-solving, people-person needed to fulfill the various desires of household members, including but not limited to arranging entertainment activities, making dining and traveling reservations, procuring gifts and meeting other needs as expressed.

EXECUTIVE SECRETARY: Organized person sought to handle all correspondence and interaction between the household and the outside world. Position involves extensive filing and record-keeping.

ADVOCATE: Protector and supporter required to represent and/or speak for household members either unable or unwilling to do so for themselves.

ENTERTAINER: Positive, upbeat person sought to keep household members happy. Applicant must possess diverse talents and be able to work with a variety of audiences and in a variety of situations.

"ESCORT": Attractive, enthusiastic, service-oriented woman needed, immediately, for intimate adult encounters. Creativity and experience required. (Though not too much experience.)

I found this on the Dr. Laura website and thought what a humorous way to show how important being a Mother and the center of home is. I know there are times I minimize the vast importance of being "just a Mom." What more VIP job could ever be served, honored and respected than raising and focusing on kids who will one day be mingling in society as adults. Many times I have had to remember that there is a time and a season for everything in life. Life-long goals, dreams and ambitions can still be accomplished after children are raised and many accomplishments can be completed while child rearing, may just require a slower pace.

I am ever thankful to my husband, Stephen for the value and support he places on me in my role of motherhood. I in return feel amazed by his(above and beyond)hard work for his family and no longer complain or nag about his laboring, long, hard hours. Although not always perfect, I focus hard to make the rest of his day pleasant when he walks in the door from a hard days work looking like work has taken life from him. A welcome home kiss, hot meal and refreshment, sometimes a bubble bath for two once kids are in bed and from time to time a massage- A small token for all he does and time sacrificed in his role as provider of our family.

Looking forward to growing our family together and now in our sixth year of marriage, our family anxiously awaits the arrival of our little boy. It has been so wonderful to see how delighted Alexis, Chandler and Olivia are about this little one. As parents, there is no greater joy than the happiness our children bring. Truly life's greatest treasure is family-