December 3, 2009

Is Santa Real?

Most would agree that Christmas is such a magical and wonderful time year.

People light up with the spirit of giving (some over indulge in gift giving part, go observe "Black Friday" and you'll see what I mean).

Suburbs come to life with showcases of lights in all spectacular colors. Imagination creates windows, lawns,trees and homes with dreams of Christmas fantasy.
Neighbors meet and greet with baked goods, candles, caroling songs on door steps as a token of friendship.

The homeless and needy are taken care of by thousands of donations and willfully given dollar amounts provide meals,gifts,clothes and a chance. Humanity lives on in our benevolent acts!

Infamous Christmas songs and stories read to our children instills humility, peace,charity and the sentimental meaning of Christmas.

There is a question on the tongue of every child, and every child does ask...
"Is Santa real"? "Are Angels real"?

If you believe in the magic of Christmas spirit, then Santa is real
He's only real as long as you believe.

Angels too exist, they walk among us every day and some are lucky and blessed to be touched by one.

Angels and Saints come in human form they are those who do good and bless the lives of others, once you have been touched by an Angel or Saint you will know and always believe.

November 5, 2009

Simple Thing Where Have You Gone?

Some find the root of human spirituality is grounded not only in God, but also in the four elements God created—earth, water, fire, and air. The elements are common, they can be the keys to spiritual understanding. Elements can can help re-connect and give a sense of personal fulfillment.

I am one that believes in linking elements to the soul, I discovered years ago that my element without doubt is water. I love being out on the water, sitting by a stream or on a beach watching the endless patterns. Water is so refreshing, cleansing, soothing, calming, relaxing and luring and when I am in this element my mind becomes clear and I learn, discover, find answers.

I took Chandler out to the lake today we sat on the sand and just watched the water wash the shoreline, reminding myself what carefree feels like.

Stresses of life can creep up so easily and bog us down.

(Click on the blog title "Somewhere only we know" will play. I love this song and find deep meaning in it)

August 27, 2009

In Gus We Trust

When my siblings and I where teens my Dad acquired a nickname, I am sure he never intended to stick. My Dad having a great sense of humor and enjoying pranks would leave the alias name "Gus" at restaurants or other public places where they did not know him and would use trucker lingo or pretend he had a silly accent of some sort. We children all thought the self appointed name was so funny and we started calling him "Gus" too.

Now, being the road trip/cycling family we where during biking season we decided one year for Father's Day to embellish the Ford Explorer with a licence plate frame that read "In Gus we trust." Indeed we placed a great amount of trust in my Dad. My dad was a single Dad, who did the best I've seen any Dad do. After working a hard day of work, he always made it priority to spend time with us, he took time to build a relationship with us, encouraged us in all we pursued and gently but firmly would scold us in a loving way if we got off tack. Dad, was even welcoming towards our friends- He stocked a fridge in the garage just for us and our friends full of frozen pizzas, ice cream treats and other teen junk food delights. You can imagine where all our friends wanted to hang out, they loved our Dad too. My Dad did his best to make sure we were not delinquents and that we were accountable for doing jobs, follow through and taking care of one another. And most importantly we knew he cared.

Children seek great comfort and stability in their parents, as an adult I have come to realize how much I still lean on my parents for council and guidance, even if it is not always verbal, children are always watchful of parents.

This past week my father told me he had been diagnosed with cancer. The dreaded words you wish never to hear, that someone you love has cancer. My heart sank and trying to hold back the tears to be tough for my Dad, it was no use those tears rolled anyway. My father looked at me and said... "Don't you cry for me. I am a happy man. I have lived a great life. I have built a great relationship with each of you kids and I have a been a part of each of my grandchildren's lives. And I am good with God. What more could a man ask for?" His crystal blue eyes inspired love, truth and hope, he would not let me pity him in any way- for he was at peace. Ten years the cancer has been unknown and growing. I love my Dad for being so strong,holding on to faith and being so positive toward something so challenging. What a great example my Dad is.

My father has planned a trip with each of kids before he goes in for the surgery to remove as much of the cancer that can be removed. I will embrace each memory of my Dad and will continue to remember that... "In Gus we trust."

July 1, 2009

Princess Happy Home

Yesterday was a much anticipated day for Stephen,Chandler, myself and many family members. Alexis and Olivia arrived home after a being in Kenya with their Mom. What a joyful and happy moment seeing their faces after six months.

I have been so very excited to hear of their adventures and new experiences, what they saw and what they ate, the culture they were apart of for half of a year.

Alexis and Olivia have lived in a place I have dreamed of visiting since I was eight years old. As a child I would watch the television charity fund raising promotions for the starving children in Africa and vowed I would one day help those kids. Seeing wanting children struck such a heart felt emotion.

Alexis and Olivia have gained so much by this small piece of life experience, and I know at this age they can never fully understand what a treasure they gained. The girls are very happy to be home, a feeling anyone who has lived abroad can appreciate.

When Alexis was in 2nd grade during Thanksgiving they had a Indian and Pilgrim dinner. Alexis was designated as an Indian, the children designed paper fashioned clothing. Upon picking up kids after school, Alexis appeared wearing a Indian headpiece that displayed "Princess Happy Home" in her own handwriting. She was so delighted about the events of the day and her self appointed Indian name "Princess Happy Home". Alexis is indeed a princess and happy to be home.

We are all so very elated to have our girls home!

June 9, 2009

Making of a HERO

From boy to man I watch you grow, as you shape into the man you are destine to become.

As you select heroes of your boyhood choice, you pick heroes due to their strengths, the strengths and character you wish to take on.

Mind you... there are heroes who are among us even in our every day lives, never looking for glory or praise. They don't seek recognition for their thoughtful and caring ways. Heroes live lives of deep commitment, providing for those they hold dear. Steadfast with a quiet strength through times of laughter and tears. A hero is bold and brave in times of need.

Strong, humble, protective, brave, committed, kind to all.
You see my son, you too are learning what it takes to be a true hero.

May 30, 2009

Give Said The Little Stream

“Give,” said the little stream,
“Give, oh! give, give, oh! give.”
“Give,” said the little stream,
As it hurried down the hill;
“I’m small, I know, but wherever I go
The fields grow greener still.”

Singing, singing all the day,
“Give away, oh! give away.”
Singing, singing all the day,
“Give, oh! give away.”

“Give,” said the little rain,
“Give, oh! give, give, oh! give.”
“Give,” said the little rain,
As it fell upon the flow’rs;
“I’ll raise their drooping heads again,”
As it fell upon the flow’rs.

Give, then, as Jesus gives,
Give, oh! give, give, oh! give.
Give, then, as Jesus gives;
There is something all can give.
Do as the streams and blossoms do:
For God and others live.

The morning of May 14, 2009 My sister and friend, Lisa passed from this life to the next. As the mourning for her loss filled my heart, this was the song entered my mind. I remember as a child this was a song Lisa and I both loved, being young I never understood what it really meant. The meaning of the song truly came to life for me over the past few days.

How a simple song can have such meaning…
Lisa too taught in simple ways,
Lisa taught by perfect example of what it was to be happy and giving. It was little things that would put a big beaming smile on her face or cause her to laugh.

I made a list of the things that made Lisa most happy, how simple this list is.

1.Lisa LOVED doing dishes, yes this is factual ask anyone of my family members. She would get so excited about doing dishes when she would come to our house, and feel some disappointment if there were no dishes or if I insisted doing them. Maybe it was more about the service and her gift to you that she loved more than anything. This most recent week she was coming to stay for several days, so to please her I went out and bought her a whole thing of dish soap for her to use as much as she would like, she was so tickled.

2.Birthday’s, Lisa looked forward to her birthday more than anything else in the whole year and would start her count down from January all the way to her birthday in Dec. sometimes growing up my Mom would have a birthday for her in the summer, just because she loved her birthday so much. Also, Lisa may not have remembered your name, but she could always remember your birthday.

3.Crayons and LOTS and LOTS of paper, just plain paper. She would draw and color for hours as part of her daily routine. Her drawings were always made with happy thought and for the people she loved most. It was clear by her drawings of rainbows, flowers, trees, and our extra tall portraits that she was surrounded by a lot of love and saw the world as a beautiful place. Months ago I tucked this one away knowing that there would soon be a day this would be a great treasure. Again, another way she served with love, in her special way.

4. Lisa could never fully read, but she loved her scriptures and would try so hard to learn and study them. I believe full-hearted she can now read and that there will be so much for her to communicate to me when I see her again. If the scriptures were so cherished and important to her, maybe that’s something for me to think about.

5.Church, anytime Lisa would stay at our house she would bring her church clothes and ask me if we were going to church. Lisa loved church, especially Primary. The last Sunday she was here on Earth, I felt impressed to go with Jason and Jessica to the church, also where Lisa attended. It was Mother’s day and all the darling primary children got up to sing and there in the middle of the entire primary Lisa stood out like an angel. My heart smiled warmly as I watched her, she could not sing all the words but her spirit shone so bright.

Lisa did give o’ give like the little stream, she was small but wherever she went life grew sweeter still. Lisa’s heart sang all day long with happiness for life and the people she loved. Lisa your mission here was great and from you we learn many life lessons, yes there is something all can give.

PS- Save me a spot in heaven and make sure they let me through the Pearly Gates. I Love You!

March 8, 2009

Petals and Madame Butterfly

My sister and I had a chance to see Madame Butterfly, an outstanding performance.

As the opening introduction took place I was so enthralled, never had I seen ballet performed in such a modern and abstract way. Brilliant costume colors and dramatic body movements,lively shadows danced like a silk scarf in the wind- all so oddly clever.

The ballet always gives me the sensation of chills. The only thing I can explain, is that it feels such a part of me as I watch the beauty of the dancers and hear the music of orchestra. I feel so moved...

As I watched the stage and the young and graceful dancers, I took notice of the old woman dozing off to sleep in the seat beside me. Most attendees in the audience were of senior age. I sat in my velvet seat in the ornate theater. The story of Madame Butterfly began to unfold in such a way, it came to life. My breath was shallow and I dared not blink. I discovered depth and meaning in this story and my surrounding. I couldn't help but to formulate thoughts.

Each stage of life is like a blooming flower- from a tender bud springs an incredible bloom, soon to become wilting petals that eventually fall.

Youth goes from barley a bud, to a graceful bloom, gently fragile petals will age and fleet.

Creating a family, children grow as precious dainty buds, with careful pruning and shaping they bloom. And then with time they flutter windward like petals in a warm Summer breeze.

Talents, love, religion, careers, wealth all follow suite but, each time old petals fall new buds sprout and blooms array constant within.

January 18, 2009

Winter Fud? That's Me!

The past five years that I have lived in Utah, I shutter at the thought of going out in the cold. Living in warm climate places such as Arizona, Hawaii and Brazil have spoiled me to the point that I have a hard time enjoying cold. I use to ski, snow shoe, camp in snow caves, loved to sled, and enjoyed other various winter activities- now I just hibernate indoors like a bear waiting the long winter out.

I over came being a winter fud and felt the need to get outdoors. I bundled up as warm as I could, put on a babushka shapka and ventured out to stomp around in the snow and brush up on my target practice.

Watch out Annie Oakley-

January 10, 2009


This past week Alexis and Olivia left for an extended time to go to Kenya with their Mom. It's been a growing time for both Stephen and myself as a couple. The night they left I came home and Stephen and I started shoveling snow, I think it was more to take our mind off of the hard emotions we were left with in saying good bye. As we finished our task, and Stephen went in, I diligently stayed and continued with my chore and my thoughts. I looked up to view the snow that fell upon me, I wondered "why?" then realized that the each flake that fell was symbolic of how people are- each so unique, we all have our own direction, place and purpose.

It was not easy to see the girls leave, but I think back to my childhood years spent in disharmony as my parents battled 4 years over the custody of children, and the divorce reality between Chandler's Dad and myself. In careful observation I have come to realize that children are not possessions, we don't own our children, they shouldn't be toyed with as if an object, and it is easy to lose sight of that during divorce differences. Learning to meditate over the years one can evolve- practice gets deeper, and you reach new levels of inner peace and awareness. Letting go can be so hard and quite painful, but when you no longer perceive the world or people as hostile, there is no more fear, and when there is no more fear, you think, speak and act differently. Love and compassion arise, and this causes and effect goes beyond just us.

I feel my husband is a true hero as I have seen how hard this has been. Stephen's choice to allow the girls to go Kenya was a last minute decision and went against all logic and advice from family, friends and his lawyer. In my mind he gave up fear and produced the greatest love possible, allowing Alexis and Olivia to know peace.

Sometimes peace and love come with great sacrifice.

I smile on with a mothers love in my heart for Alexis and Olivia, admiring Emily (Alexis and Olivia's Mom) for her passion of life, not allowing herself to be held back and again remind myself we are all snowflakes with different purpose,direction and individuality.