April 16, 2008

Modern Stepmother Fairy Tale

I had a occurrence the other day with Alexis, Caught me off guard
actually. I had just picked the girls up from school and within five
min her phone was already chiming with a text message. I asked her who
was so anxious to chat with her, she told me it was one of her friends
brothers. Does this raise a red flag to just me or am I just being
over protective?
I am quite expressional and I am certain the look on
my face was a distorted one.I began to ask questions about this
"friends brother." Finding out he was 10 and not a older boy I felt some
relief, but not much. I began to to talk to the girls about when it is
age appropriate to call boys or to go out on dates, this is not a new
topic with my kids. I told them the woes of my youth and how my mother
would tell the boys that called my house at age 14 that they could
call back in two years. No sooner had I said this and Alexis phone rang
this boy is now calling. Now, I was just bewildered! I asked Alexis if she
would like to talk to him about our family rules or if she would, she picked me. I called the young man back and then we began our chat, I introduced myself and continued to lead the conversation into the rules of boys not calling girls at this age and same with girls calling boys. I asked for him to please delete Alexis number from his phone and that I would probably need to bring this to his mothers attention. Was very polite, yet tried to be very clear.
After I hung up, Olivia (the younger of the two daughters) cheered
from the back "way to go Mom." I quickly turned and asked Alexis if I
embarrassed her. She said no and I felt her answer sincere. I
confessed that I was not prepared for this. I questioned if I was to
brash or overbearing. I questioned my role as stepmom, was it not my
role? Then I though of Dr. Laura and felt I did the right thing as a
parent, stepmom, caring adult. I told those beautiful girls my
feelings of how much I love them and even though they have a Mom, my
heart only sees them as my daughters too.

Some times this step-mom thing can be questioning, what is my role, do
I over step lines? Do they love and respect me and want me to take a
active position? Do I fit the "evil stepmother" description? From the
start I have always disliked the term "STEP" but, trying to explain it
any other way just doesn't work people look puzzled and say it for you any way. Please, society could we come up with a better term? I believe it's those princess fairy tale stories that have spoiled our good name. Think about it,from
toddler age to pre teen children read or watch the fairy tales that
portray the stepmother as wicked or evil.

Modern stepmother, not to evil looking


Michael J said...

Wow, I always wonder how I'll handle situations like this with my kids in the future.

On the one side you want to keep them from hardships and on the other you don't want them to ever feel repressed or rebelious by over parenting.

I reckon you used the perfect balance, my hat goes off to you!

Sheree said...

You are such a cute mom! Seriously, I hate the "step mom" label too. Technically I have one, but we call her "Diane" or "My dad's wife" because step-mom just doesn't sound right. I think you are doing a great job! My girls are always talking about how NICE you are. It is so fun to see your blog!